Yesterday was the 11 year anniversary of my mother-in-law’s passing.  I never got to meet her.

I know a lot of women have issues with their mothers-in-law.  I tend to be on The Nest a lot and I’ve read many a post where a new bride doesn’t get along with her mother-in-law for one reason or another.  Sometimes it’s for a totally legitimate reason.  But every single time I want to say, “Be thankful for what you have.”

From everything I’ve heard, my mother-in-law was a pretty great woman.  I can only imagine that I would have really liked her and hopefully she would have liked me too.  And it’s hard to believe that not only will I never be able to meet her but my children will never meet her either.

I never got to meet her but I still find myself missing her.


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  1. says

    I am so lucky to have the best not-yet-mother-in-law ever, and I'm so thankfull for that!

    And I understand that you would want your bf's mom to like you :)

  2. says

    So sorry to hear. I am blessed to have an amazing mother-in-law but I have friends who do not get along with theirs at all. My mother was never really close to me so it's nice to have another mother in my life.

  3. says

    Thank you for such a sweet (if bittersweet) post, Krysten! I also will never meet the mother-in-law figure in my life, since my S.O.'s mother died when he was little. It is a something I think about in the same way – you wrote about it so beautifully.

  4. says

    This is so sweet. You're right, we should appreciate what we have while we have it. I'm sure your mother in law is looking down on the beautiful relationship you have with her son and can't wait to see how your story unfolds!

  5. says

    It's so sad when someone dies that was important in a special person's life that we never get to meet. My great-grandma on my grandfather's side died before I was born and I always hear about what an amazing woman she was. I wish I could have known her.

    The memories live on, though.

  6. says

    I feel the exact same way and have said the exact same thing to people that complain. My mother-in-law passed away 8 months before my husband and I started dating. My father-in-law compares her to me all the time and that is one of the best compliments I've ever been given. She was amazing.

  7. says

    Awwww… this is so sad, and sweet at the same time. You know, my MIL isn't the easiest person in the world, but I'm thankful to have her. I wish you would've had the chance to meet yours….

  8. says

    I think she would be so grateful that she has a daughter-in-law who loves her, even without the opportunity to meet her, and it speaks volumes to how much her family loves her.

    I'm so grateful to have a wonderful future mother-in-law; she is such a terrific friend and I adore her.

  9. says

    Sorry you didn't get to meet her :(

    I'm also always shocked by mother-in-law issues. My MIL is amazing!!! We don't always agree, but who cares? She's so loving and fun and generous.

    (The Knot is a great place for crazy MIL stories haha)

  10. says

    What a touching post. How sad that your husband lost his mother so early. I think we all have issues with all our family members at one time or another and I try to look at my in-laws in the same way. The same way my own mother can annoy me so can my mother-in-law but that's nature–doesn't mean she's the devil.

    I feel pretty blessed to have a pretty great MIL.

  11. says

    I'm so sorry. It has to be hard to feel that piece of your family missing. I think what Maria Celina said is right on the money, and I'm sure your husband appreciates your love of her so much.

  12. says

    This is so sweet, and with good advice. It was kinda like that for me growing up too, when people would complain about their moms. I was a little gruff about it and made all my friends appreciate such blessings.

  13. says

    I understand how you're feeling. My boyfriend's mum died in January and it hit me really hard. I just kept thinking that it was such a shame that we never got the chance for her to become my mother in law.
    And when I said "my boyfriend's mum had died" people thought I wasn't that connected because we aren't married and that's nonsense!
    I'm so sorry you never even got to meet your mother in law though. And thank you for writing "be thankful for what you've got".
    I know we don't have her nay more, but I'm thank ful to have known her those few short years.

  14. says

    Awe Krysten I'm sorry for you and your husband… I'm sure your husband appreciates the fact that you miss his mom. I think it's a true sign that you two are suppose to be together. You two are one now so you feel a little of what he feels and that's why you miss her too.

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