School Daze


Okay, I’ll admit it. School and I don’t always get along.

I started out as little miss goody two shoes. Way back in the day I always turned things in on top, did my assigned reading and went above and beyond. However, right about the time that boys became interesting I sort of started slacking.

I remember the first C I got. Art class in SEVENTH GRADE. Yes, I got a C in seventh grade. But let me tell you that I can’t draw a straight line. I am not artistic. I love to write and to me that’s my “art”. But painting, drawing, ceramics, art history – they all mean nothing to me. So I wasn’t entirely heartbroken with that grade. I still did decent through most of junior high.

High school was a little worse. I was HORRIBLE in math. They introduced this new math program in Minnesota and I was thrown into that. The way math was described in that program just made no sense to me. I struggled. A lot. I also had a hard time getting assignments done on time because I spent a lot of my time being interested in boys. School just didn’t seem as important. I always heard, “Krysten is so smart if she’d just do the work.” The problem is that I didn’t like doing the work. I would put things off until the very last second and then if it meant I had to stay up late I’d just forgo doing well on the assignment for sleep. Not good. But I still got through high school without too much damage.

Then came college. I’m not sure if it’s because the only person that can hold you accountable for going to class is YOU or what but my first year of college was BAD. I was kind of homesick, I didn’t like my roommate, I felt shy and I realized that it was super easy to ditch classes. I also fell in love hard for the first time and once that happened school was all downhill. By the end of the year there wasn’t much hope for me. I felt like a bad person and I had no idea what to do.

I moved home for my sophomore year and that’s the only time I did well in college. I liked the community college I was at but at the time I believed that community colleges were for people who couldn’t get into a four year college (a belief I have since changed). So after that year I was accepted to a four year school closer to home. It should have been perfect.

Except the boy issues were still going on and the ditching classes was still going on. At this point I simply felt uncomfortable in classes. Because I’d screwed up my freshman year I still had freshman classes to take. So I was a 21 year old in classes with 18 year olds. And they all seemed to have their acts together when I didn’t. And that’s how the rest of my schooling has gone. Although the boy crazy stuff faded away I still constantly felt the need to skip classes because A) I wanted to sleep / have time before work / just didn’t feel like it and B) I felt uncomfortable being older than everyone else.

So now here I am. 26 years old with a smattering of random classes that I’ve passed and a smattering of classes that I’ve failed. It’s hard for me to put all this out there because in my own eyes I feel like an idiot for having thrown my college years away and because part of me is scared this will all happen again. I am hopeful that online classes will be my answer. It won’t matter if I’m older than everyone else because I’ll be behind a computer screen. And I can work on my classes whenever I feel like it.

I am hopeful this time around. Because part of me feels like this is my last chance.

More soon.



  1. says

    Online classes can be a great option. I've taken a few, and it's nice to be able to work from the couch in your pjs. I'm sure it will work out, stick to it! You'll be so glad you did. Challenges are just opportunities in disguise. Keep up the awesome work!

  2. says

    I was so bad in math. So bad…

    I went to college for a four year degree in design that I have -never used-. Yeah, yippee! I often think about that and want to bang my head on the floor, but hey, c'est la vie and I'm happy where I am now. :) You can finish, go for it!!!

  3. says

    Umm, I am SO math deficient. I still use my fingers to count:( We've all been there – but you can totally do it! Keep it up lady!

  4. says

    Sometimes I think that it's better to go to school later when people are more mature. But I totally get the awkwardness being older than everyone else. On-line courses can work wonders. I know a few people who successfully completed their degrees online. Good luck…you can totally do it! :)

    Happy weekend! xoxo

  5. says

    Congrats on making the decision to return to school–I know it can be a tough thing to decide on.

    I agree with The Alernative Wife. I think it's better to go to school later in life, because you're more mature, more appreciative, usually more willing to work hard (or at least understand that it's necessary), and focused on your plan and/or goals.

    Good luck with your classes!

  6. says

    Sounds like you've found the right way to do school for you. I loved college, but I realize traditional school isn't best for everyone because we're all different. Keep up the good work!

    Also, I work from home and love it. Hope I can always work from home!

  7. says

    You are aware of your tendency to "slack" so you should be able to keep it under control. I think the online option is a great idea and you are going to do just fine with keeping up with the work. Just make sure to keep an eye on yourself and snap back to it when you start to slack even a little.

  8. says

    But the thing is that you are doing it now. It doesn't matter what happened in the past. You are going to get through it!

    I'll join you in the Sucks at Math club. Like really sucks. Like I failed remedial math freshman year of college. Luckily I know how to use a calculator.

  9. says

    i do agree; a restaurant would be MUCH harder than a movie. and i would probably make a rule for myself that was like, no texting, or phone calls, or pretending you're texting. i think it would really grow confidence. 😀 haha, anyway, have a beautiful day!!

  10. says

    I taught college English for years and my best students were students who came back. You'll be fine. A college degree opens a lot of doors AND education is a beautiful thing. Don't look at it like a chore, look at your education as a honor.

  11. says

    I was one of those 18 year old who *seemingly* had it together. I forged my way straight through college (although I did fail a couple classes and had to retake them when I went through a horrible breakup) and finished in 5 years. I do remember feeling very out of place my last year just because the campus had filled up with young kids, so I definitely feel you on the age issue. But when I was done with college I got a totally unrelated job for the next 3 years and tried to figure out what I wanted to do in life. Most of my other mid-late 20 year old friends had similar experiences, which led us all to believe that our culture should not be so hard set on getting kids to go to college immediately after high school. I think it's natural for us to need that break, to be young, to try different things out, and then when we're a little more settled, think about school and degrees and careers.

    My point is, I don't think you screwed anything up. I think you actually probably took a better path than those of us who did school and then felt completely lost, or that we wasted thousands of dollars on something we'll never use. and I really hope online classes are absolutely perfect for you! oh, and happy happy weekend to you! 😀

  12. says

    You can do it!!! I didn't do as good as should have my first 2 years but now I've turned around my attitude and commient to school and am doing so much better! If I could do it anyone can!!

  13. says

    I like Alee's idea. I think if I ever had to go back to school, it would have to be online. I just couldn't deal otherwise. Blech!

  14. says

    Good luck with your on line classes, they sound like the best plan for you :)
    I never went to college or uni, when i was school leaving age it just wasn't the big thing that it has become now. I have never had trouble finding work, and i am a great believer that i work to live..i dont live to work.
    There is too much pressure on people now to get a degree and get a good high paying job and keep up with everyone else.
    As long as you are taking subjects that you enjoy,(otherwise whats the point!?) you will be fine xx

  15. says

    I was so so so bad at Math! going to college wasnt my favorite thing either but made it through finally, finished Law and a MA and now here I am looking for a totally unrelated job… as I never used any of my degrees nice huh, life… but i smile and I think it's a great idea you are going back to school darling, so good!!!
    enjoy the Easter weekend xoxo

  16. says

    I'll tell you what, I hope that you are hugely successful with these online courses, but I think it's important that you understand that this is NOT your last chance. The age hang up is your hang up and no one else's. Some people go to school their entire lives. You are never too old to get an education and there is no shame associated with it at all.

    I live in a city where people of all ages (even seniors) are college students and it is a beautiful thing.

    Do not judge yourself or put unnecessary pressure on yourself.

  17. says

    i know how you feel. i am in physical science 100 right now, which is a GE (and full of freshman). the worst part, i dont understand ANYTHING that goes on in that class! so here i am, 23 years old and a senior, with little 18 year olds around me, beating the pants off of me in class. blarg! anyways, i am sorry and i'm sure things can only get better :]

  18. says

    math makes me want to cry, i have never been good at it! EVER. any other subject was a piece of cake, but math was just… horrid times. i cried a lot. haha 😉

  19. says

    im a big believer in the self-fulfilling prophecy phenomenon…if you tell yourself that messing up or slacking off is a likely outcome, that thought tends to come true. the same, of course, applies to the opposite…you are the only one who can stand in your way. good luck with everything, im sure you'll do great =)

  20. says

    Aww I was never good at art either. I always grabbed a ruler for those straight lines and if I had to draw anything other than that I was screwed.

    I am sure you'll do great! Good luck!

  21. says

    im terrible at math. and have gotten all kind of C's…and then some. you are in good company my dear. but no worries, there is always time for improvemnt!

  22. says

    we are extremely similar. it's scary! lol. i absolutely hate math. i feel like i'm the equivalent of an elementary student, lol. i started skipping school when i met my husband, which was senior year of high school for me. it got worse when i started college because i could skip and not get into trouble. although my grades suffered tremendously. i received my AA and took off a few years before going back and getting my bachelors degree. even going back was really hard because i was older than everyone else and i'd rather be at home with my husband. :) now i'm looking at getting my masters and i really want to just do it online. i'm curious to see how you like it.

  23. says

    I've taken online classes and they seem to work well for me! For the most part I like in class interaction because having a professor explain stuff to me face to face works better for me. But if you can stay focused online is a great alternative too, hope it works out well for you!

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