Once upon a time I had the best of friends. Some of them I’d known since 7th grade. We went WAY back. We had a very, wonderful history. I loved them so much. And we went through it all together. I considered myself so lucky to have the friends that I did.
I remember sitting through a speech for my college orientation. They asked everyone to raise their hands in they had BEST FRIENDS. I was surprised that less than half of the auditorium raised their hands. Then they went on to say that the college years are the years where you make your best friends, your friends for life. And I remember laughing because I had already made those friends.
My friends and I made it through the college years together. Maybe we didn’t see each other every day but we hung out when we could, called when we could and whenever we did see each other it felt like no time at all had passed.
And then one day I lost those friends. To this day I will say that I feel as if they misunderstood me. They blamed me for things that they didn’t understand and I truly feel that if they’d taken the time to understand then maybe things would be different. But they didn’t. And so we stopped being friends. I told myself I’d be okay, that I didn’t need people who wouldn’t even wait for an explanation.
While I stand firm that I didn’t do wrong what they think I did, sometimes I find myself missing those friends so much. I’m not sure if it’s because I miss THEM or if it’s because I miss having close girl friends. Because these days I don’t have best friends. And that makes me so sad.
At this point I wonder if I will ever have close girl friends again. I mean, I’m past the college years. So I’m not sure how I would ever find girl friends now. It’s not like I can take out a personal ad.
Sometimes I wish it was that easy.